


Book 2: Reclamation (Water)

by alligator_writes



Series: Azula Banished with Zuko AU [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar)-centric, Azula joins the circus, Fire Nation Royal Family, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Kyoshi Island, No Romance, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, POV Azula (Avatar), POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Unreliable Narrator, Zhao (Avatar) Is An Asshole, azula banished with zuko, hair and makeup symbolism, im adding tags as i go, some fluff here and there, spirits above i hate that dude, temporarily, to avoid spoilers, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28958664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alligator_writes/pseuds/alligator_writes
Summary: Canon divergent AU where Azula is banished with Zuko. Set at the same time as Season 1 of ATLA.(MUST read Book 1 in order to understand everything!)Updates at least once every two weeks!
Relationships: Azula & Iroh (Avatar), Azula & Mai & Ty Lee, Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & various OCs, Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar)
Series: Azula Banished with Zuko AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930882
Comments: 60
Kudos: 169





	1. The Drawer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Azula learns a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back, and with a long chapter to start this part of the story off! I hope you like it!
> 
> As usual, my gf is the best, and comments and kudos make my world go round!

They dock in one of the southernmost towns on the Earth Kingdom coast. It’s supposed to be a quick resupply, and then they’re off to the South Pole.

Azula can’t honestly say she’s excited about it. The temperatures are already colder than anything she’s ever felt before, and they haven’t even encountered the polar winds yet. She’ll buy a warm coat at the market today.

Zuko is still Zuko. Angry, blustery, loud, and never really harmful. Over the past few weeks, Azula has subtly orchestrated a semi-peace between him and the sailors. It took her less effort than tuning out Zuko’s complaints to Uncle. 

No more screaming matches, but more quiet, biting comments behind each others’ backs. It could be better, but at least Zuko gives her fewer headaches now.

Uncle is still acting _off._ Azula doesn’t dare ask him why, for a few reasons:

  1. Uncle has been pretty forthcoming with her. Eventually, he’ll crack and tell her, and she’s busy enough to be content with waiting this out.
  2. Part of #1 is a lie. Snooping around and trying to figure it out for herself is much more fun.



He’s still writing to whomever, but Azula finally catches him sending off a messenger hawk. She watches it fly south, toward the pole where those birds cannot survive, and her confusion only grows.

\------

The market in this town is surprisingly busy.

Well, it shouldn’t be that surprising. It’s near some of the smaller islands in the Earth Kingdom that don’t have their own big markets, and it’s close enough to the Eastern Air Temple that it can serve as a last-minute supply area for anyone who sails there. Azula knows this because she’s been here before for both reasons.

She ignores the guards trailing her and haggles for her own supplies: parchment, ink, new brushes, better hair ribbons, pins, makeup, and that coat for the pole.

Her haggling is of a much different style than what she’s observed over the past few years, but it works. She argues down to half price, and when the merchant refuses, she arches an eyebrow and slides them the money anyway.

It’s become much more effective as she’s grown older (and made her eyeliner sharper.)

She hands a shopkeeper a few gold coins in exchange for some gold hair pins, her last item of the day, and turns, nearly colliding with a post. After taking a step back, she reads the poster at eye level and does a double take.

 _Heng’s Wondrous Traveling Show,_ it advertises in simple, bright green lettering. _Come see the best attractions, strangest oddities, and most dazzling performances!_

Depicted in simple black ink are a few drawings: that of an ostrich horse in flight, a pair of conjoined twins, a roaring moose-lion jumping through a fiery hoop, and, in the center of it all, a picture of a grinning girl in the middle of a handstand on a highwire.

It’s Ty Lee.

It has to be. The artist of the poster is talented and depicted her smile perfectly, just as Azula remembered it. It’s Ty Lee because her hair is braided in the same way it’s always been, her smile lights up her eyes like it always did, and her handstand is perfect like it always was.

Ty Lee is _here._

For a moment, all Azula feels is burning rage, climbing up from her stomach and into her throat. So Ty Lee could join the circus, but she couldn’t receive her letters?

 _If she were traveling, she wouldn’t have gotten you letters, dimwit,_ the rational voice in her head says in its clipped tone. _You know what her family is like._

The rage dissipates, though not easily, and is quickly replaced by a flurry of different emotions and thoughts.

Ty Lee is here. Azula could see her, too, as the ship isn’t supposed to leave until tomorrow morning, and she has the money to buy herself a ticket.

But would Ty Lee want to see her? Three years. It’s been three years since Azula last spoke to her. Agni, she can’t even remember the last conversation they had.

Azula is a lot of things, but she isn’t indecisive. She finishes reading the poster and races over to the stall it described to buy herself a ticket for tonight’s show.

After a moment of consideration, she buys two more. If Uncle and Zuzu don’t want to come, then she’s already paid for the irritating escort Uncle will make her bring along in his absence, despite the fact that she knows he knows she can protect herself.

She races back to the ship, all her items still in hand, hearing the guards pant and swear behind her in between their confused laughter.

Azula doesn’t know if she can stop smiling.

\------

Unsurprisingly, Uncle agrees to go. That man never passes up any form of entertainment.

Shockingly, Zuko agrees to come, too.

“Why?” Azula blurts out, arm stretched out halfway to give him his ticket.

Confusion settles over his face. “Because she was my friend, too,” he says, but it sounds like a question.

 _Not really,_ Azula thinks, but she keeps it to herself and hands him the ticket.

\------

The rest of the show is amazing, judging from the cheers of the other audience members, but Azula can only focus on Ty Lee.

She’s grown a little taller and more muscular in the past few years, but is still lithe and flexible.

Her smile is the same, even through the obvious discomfort of her gaudy, sparkling costume. Like any true performer, Ty Lee doesn’t let it hinder her.

When she does an aerial on the high wire without seeming to lose her balance for an instant, Azula abandons all her decorum and stands and cheers with the audience.

Zuzu and Uncle do the same.

\------

When she goes to look for Ty Lee in one of the other tents, it seems like everything conspires against her.

The crowd, which was larger than she’d expected, moves as one toward the docks and the town square, and Azula is caught in the tide for much longer than she would have liked to be. Eventually, she does manage to break away, but she can’t find anyone loitering outside the tents like she’d hoped. She enters one and immediately is stopped by the strongman, who had been introduced as Li Wei the Impressive.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he says, a hand on her shoulder to stop her from moving any farther.

Azula jerks out of his grip but does not advance. “I’m looking for a friend. I need to see her.”

Li Wei laughs. “Oh, then you’re definitely not supposed to be here.”

“But-”

“Crew policy. We don’t let people from the old life in.”

“I need-”

“Listen here, girlie,” Azula wrinkled her nose at the patronizing nickname, “You don’t join the circus if you’re happy with your old life. You seem to have good intentions, and I hate to be that guy, but get lost.”

Gently, he shoves her out of the tent and tightly closes the flap.

For a few seconds, Azula fumes. How _dare_ he treat her like that?

She’s tempted to set the tent on fire, but a few things stop her:

  1. Her fire is blue now, and that’s highly recognizable. They’d find her and fight her, and she doesn’t care enough for a second engagement.
  2. Ty Lee wouldn’t be happy with her. This is technically her home now, and that’s not how Azula wants to see her again.
  3. Uncle would never let her hear the end of it, and he’d make her pay for the damages.
  4. She’s banished, so her status as a princess can’t let her get away with it.



Azula heads back to the ship, still fuming, her hands balled into fists to prevent herself from bending.

\------

The next morning, Azula walks into an empty office and immediately looks for signs of a struggle.

Uncle’s office is never empty, at least when he asks Azula to drop things off for him.

Everything seems to be in place. Desk, chair, various papers and books, even the ink stone perched on the corner. 

Maybe he forgot, then? But Uncle doesn’t forget things. He remembers what Azula likes to talk about and what she doesn’t, what she’ll eat from the galley and what she’ll instantly trade with Zuko, whether he protests or not.

Like her, Uncle is intentional. Which is why this only confuses her more.

Azula sets the parchment and ink on a cleared off section of Uncle’s desk. Not sure what to do now, she drops herself into his chair and waits. On the desk immediately in front of her is a letter she can only assume is for Uncle, but it isn’t addressed to anyone. 

Naturally, she reads it.

_If what you say is true, then the Scale is probably here. We have a story, only about two generations old, about how one of the women found something strange in the depths. Afraid of what it meant, she obscured it until she could summon an elder to investigate. She told only her sister of its existence, but wouldn’t say where it was. Mysteriously, she died that night and so couldn’t direct anyone else to its location._

_I have a feeling that story is about what you need now. Tomorrow, I’ll make sure the children are occupied and take some of the women with me to investigate. In the meantime, keep your charges from coming here. We’ll take care of this on our own time, and the Scale will make its own way and tip back to balance._

_-Snowdrift_

This is who Uncle has been writing to? What in Agni’s name is that supposed to mean? “The Scale?” “Snowdrift?” The strange language and phrasing?

“Your charges.” That has to mean Zuko and Azula. What does this person need Uncle to keep them away for? They’re not even going anywhere of any importance! The Southern Water Tribe is remote and of little consequence. The only person who thinks they’ll find anything is Zuko, who somehow still believes in the Avatar even after three years of finding nothing.

Azula shakes her head and remembers a lesson, one she’d taught herself. _Don’t waste your time on things you can’t control._

The mystery gnaws at her brain anyway, so Azula keeps herself busy as she thinks about a possible solution.

Out of curiosity, she tests all the drawers on Uncle’s desk. From past experience, she knows they’re usually locked.

One isn’t.

It nearly flies out of the desk, as Azula didn’t expect it to give at all. She sets it right in the frame, then peeks inside. It’s full of folded pieces of parchment.

Her stomach begins to climb into her throat as she grabs them and sets them on the floor. They’re too familiar. She flips the entire stack over and is greeted with a bright red wax seal.

 _No, that can’t be right,_ she tries to reassure herself. She shuts her eyes and squeezes them tightly before opening them again. _Well, it has to be right. Your vision isn’t failing you._

Azula takes a deep breath and tears apart the seal, feeling as if she’s ripping open a scar. 

(Not that she has any of those. She’s not Zuko, after all.)

Quickly, she scans the page, her eyes growing wider and her breath more frantic as she continues.

It reads:

_Father,_

_So far, there has been no sign of the Avatar._ ~~_Why did you send me on a wild fire ferret chase?_ ~~ _I have decided to check all the Air Temples first, as well as all the coastal destinations along the way._ ~~_Why didn’t you tell me there were conditions to my punishment?_ ~~ _I am confident we will find him soon. I am eager to crush him and bring glory to the Fire Nation._ ~~_I will make you proud. I promise._ ~~

_Yours,_

_Princess Azula_

_It’s a mistake,_ she tells herself. _So what? Uncle has one of your letters to Father. That doesn’t mean anything._

All her reassurances don’t stop her from tearing open the next piece of parchment:

_Father,_

_I have checked the Western Air Temple. There was nothing there, aside from a few Air Nomad skeletons._ ~~_The emptiness felt wrong._ ~~ _As I saw them, I remembered what you taught me about weakness._ ~~_Weakness is punished._ ~~ _Your lessons have stayed with me during this time._ ~~_Stay strong, perfection and acceptable are the same, do not flinch._ ~~ _I will not forget them._ ~~_I don’t think I can._ ~~ _Their bones spoke of their weakness. The Fire Nation was right in eradicating them._ ~~_Right?_ ~~ _I will write when I receive any new information._

_Yours,_

_Princess Azula_

She opens the next.

_Father,_

_I know my letters have been all business, but I have seen fit to inform you of our condition…_

And the next:

_Father,_

_I apologize for not having written for a long time. I finished searching the Air Temples…_

And the next:

_Father,_

_As I am sure you are aware, it has been a year…_

Until she’s opened them all, sitting on the carpeted floor of Uncle’s office, surrounded by small mountains of paper and burning with rage. The words replay through her head, over and over again, each time starting with _Father_ and ending with _[Yours, Princess] Azula._

Azula is the closest to tears she’s been in years, but she does not let them fall.

“Oh, good, Azula dropped off the things I asked her to bring in from the market,” a voice says, accompanied by footsteps that grow closer.

The hatred Azula thought was dormant for the past three years flares up, and the box she keeps her anger in shatters in the back of her skill. The hatred and anger settle over her skin and hair, like everything Mother made her feel she was, and only the barest threads of her control remain. 

Azula decides she’ll be a monster. That’s what everyone is making her out to be, anyway.

She looks up from the pile where she’d stacked her most recent letter and fully glares at Uncle, who’s frozen in the middle of the room. She can’t remember a time where Uncle didn’t know what to say even when she wanted nothing more than for him to shut up. She feels a sick sort of satisfaction now.

Uncle looks like a spooked ostrich horse. “What are you doing?” he asks, warily as if Azula is the spooked one.

“Why?” she demands, and it’s so much calmer than how she feels.

When Uncle opens his mouth, she finds she doesn’t care about whatever excuse he’ll conjure up.

“You kept them all. Father never got any of my letters because of _you._ ” 

_Rage is a companion, not a fuel._ It’s her only companion now.

“No, that’s not-”

Azula cuts him off. “And to think I trusted you, despite knowing how much you hate Father. How much you must hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Azula.” For the first time since Uncle walked in, he sounds firm.

Her control frays at the edges. She doesn’t care.

“Yes you do!” she shouts. “If you hate Father, you hate me. And I missed it because I was weak and stupid and let my guard down to trust you. I’ll make sure I never do that again! Your stupid little innocent tea-loving pai sho-playing persona is a good cover, I’ll give you that.”

Azula hates that she’s like him. Manipulative. A player. But that’s what Father is too, and she is like Father. Mentally, she kicks herself for not realizing Uncle is like Father too, but in ways that make him weak. She is not weak.

She is not Zuko, or Mother, or Uncle.

As she talks, she watches how his face falls to some sort of profound sadness. And to think she ever thought he couldn’t hide his expressions like she could.

_No. Not like I can. I’m better._

“Was it because you wanted to steal me away? Prevent me from going home? Did you hate Father so much that you wanted to hurt him by keeping me?”

Uncle says nothing. He just stares at her, sadly, and it’s almost more than she can take.

“You robbed me! Of my _only_ chance to go home!” Her voice is dangerously close to breaking. “Because we all know we aren’t going to find the fucking Avatar! Those letters were how I was going to get back! And you took that away from me!”

To keep from crying, Azula burns the letters right there.

Bright blue flame engulfs each pile, turning the parchment to ashes almost instantly. When they finish burning, the scent of smoke hangs heavily in the room. The wax melts into big globs that stick together.

She doesn’t let them fuse to the carpet. Actually, the carpet is pristine. It’s proof the last of her control has held on, and it’s incredibly reassuring.

She hopes it comes off as threatening to Uncle. It’s proof that she isn’t completely unhinged. It’s a promise that she’d do much worse if she was.

“I’m done,” she croaks, her voice a little raw from all the shouting. “I’m leaving now, and going to Ty Lee’s, and if the spirits exist, then they’ll make sure I never see you again.”

\------

Azula packs her own bag this time, since there are no servants to do it for her.

She shoves in as many clothes and shoes as she can fit, along with all her makeup and hair things. Hastily, she puts on the stupid coat she bought at the market. Was that really only yesterday?

Uncle isn’t in his office, so Azula steals all the money she can find there and throws it into her bag. She doesn’t steal from the crew. They haven’t done anything wrong. In all honesty, she may actually miss them.

She stands in the doorway of her room. If someone had told her three years ago that she would grow attached to this room, she’d laugh in their face. But here she is.

She looks around one last time and spies the hairpiece that she had taken with her from the palace string on what used to be her dresser.

Azula takes it and slips it in her bag before she closes the door.

\------

Of course, Zuko is on deck.

“Where are you going?” he asks her, interrupting the sailor he was talking to.

“Away,” she snaps, not looking at him and continuing her walk to a rowboat.

“Wait, what?”

“You heard me.”

The idiot can’t take a hint. “Why? I thought you were happy here.”

 _Happy?_ Azula barks out a short laugh before remembering. “Uncle kept all my letters. To Father.”

Zuko stops following her, speechless.

“I’m willing to bet he did the same with yours,” Azula says as she stops and finally looks at him. She doesn’t mean it to be malicious. Zuko hasn’t done anything to her.

“I’m sure he had a good reason…”

Of course he sides with Uncle.

“What reason could he have?” Azula explodes. “Those letters were my only chance to come home!”

“We can still find the Avatar.”

“Stop being so spirits-damn stupid! The Avatar doesn’t fucking exist!”

For the first time Azula can remember, Zuko goes _cold._ He sets his jaw tight, restraining his anger. Is that what she looks like when she’s angry?

_No. I’m not Zuko._

“I’m not as stupid as you think, Azula. I know we’ll probably never find him, but we have to try.”

“That’s all you're good for, isn’t it? _Trying,_ ” she says mockingly. “You _try_ to make Father want you even though he doesn’t want you home. You _try_ to bend even though you’re terrible at it. You _tried_ to be good and perfect and like me but you still got us fucking banished, shit-for-brains.”

Zuko pauses again, despite his anger growing close to the surface. “What do you mean I got _us_ banished?” he asks, and the undercurrent on his voice nears something dangerous.

 _Father would be proud of that,_ Azula thinks absently.

“Father had me take care of you those three months before the Agni Kai, and you still failed because you’re cursedly hopeless, and he banished me because he thought your shittiness reflected on me.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Because you’re a fucking idiot. Do you really think I would have done that, or stuck around here unless I had to? Point is, Father wants _me_ home, Uncle took that away from me, and I’ve been stuck with you instead of enjoying my life at the palace like I should be.” With that, Azula stalks over to a rowboat.

Behind her, Zuko finally explodes. “Father wants me home, too! He’s just teaching me a lesson. He’s going to bring me back, Azula, and when you’re languishing away in some Earth Kingdom hovel, I’ll be back in the palace as Crown Prince, and you won’t be there because you were too fucking stupid to stick around!”

Lightning crackles around her hands, but Azula pulls it back. She’s not going to give him more fuel for his pathetic little fire. Wordlessly, she moves to untie a rowboat.

“Hey! Wait!”

Azula looks up to see the sailor Zuko was talking to, Akari, frantically jogging over to her. When she reaches Azula and the boat, she calls over to Zuko.

“Hey, asshole! Row her out! We can’t afford to abandon another rowboat.”

Zuko snaps at her, still fiery with rage. “Why can’t you fucking do it?”

“Because my wrist is still messed up,” Azula knows that’s a lie, “and I just don’t want to.” That’s true.

With a dramatic sigh, Zuko walks over to them and finishes lowering the boat. Before Azula can, he’s already started down the ladder. Akari nods solemnly at her, and Azula starts down as well.

They each grab a pair of oars and start rowing as fast as they can to end this soon. They reach shore quickly. Azula exits the boat and looks back at Zuko.

He’s softer now, but only by a fraction. He doesn’t speak, just looks her over and nods at her once.

She nods back.

(Translation:

_I’m going to miss you. Good luck._

_I’ll miss you too. Good luck, dum-dum._ )

\------

Azula finds the nearest inn, goes up to the counter, and slaps down a silver piece.

The innkeeper gives her a once over and says, “No unaccompanied minors,” before going back to her reading.

Azula slaps down a gold piece. The innkeeper puts down her book.

“Right this way, please.”

\------

It’s only when she’s alone in her room that Azula lets herself cry. Part of her wants so badly to wail and sob, but _lessons_ and habit force her to keep herself silent.

When she’s done, she stares at herself in the mirror and wipes away the tears and her makeup. Tomorrow, she’ll go find Ty Lee, and will have a place to stay. She’ll figure it out.

Somehow, she sleeps and cries then, too, though she doesn’t remember in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how angsty this was. If you want some wholesome stuff, follow me on tumblr at alligator-writes?


	2. Aerial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry this got out two days late. I had a lot of homework over the weekend and yesterday, but I’m here now! I hope next week’s chapter is on time lol. Thanks to the usual suspects, and I hope you like this chapter!

When Azula wakes up, she realizes the flaws in her plan:

  1. The circus might have left.
  2. Ty Lee might not be there to vouch for her, and she’ll be turned away again.
  3. She has no backup plan, other than to go somewhere else deep in enemy territory.



She cringes at all of this, as well as yesterday in general. Her plan and actions were so rash, her cursing so uncouth, and she was blustery and angry and almost out of control-

_ I was like Zuko. _ The thought hits her straight in her chest, heavy and forceful as a saber tooth moose-lion’s stomp.

Like always, Azula refuses to dwell on it. Instead, she counteracts it.

She gets out of bed and goes to her bag laying at the foot of it. She opens it up, takes out her clothes, and gets dressed. They’re plain traveling clothes, so she doesn’t really care about them getting dirty as she sits on the floor (in perfect seiza, that has never changed) and does her makeup in front of a little mirror she props between the bag and the foot of her bed.

As she applies her mascara, her thoughts wander to Ty Lee.  _ Three years ago, she was a minor noblewoman’s daughter, and I was princess. Now, she’s a circus performer, and I’m banished. How far we’ve come. _

She sticks her hair piece in her top knot before she leaves, even though that’s not the best idea for keeping a low profile. She takes her bag with her and tips the innkeeper an extra silver piece as insurance for her further discretion.

\-------

On her walk to the circus grounds, where she  _ hopes, prays, please let them still be there, _ Azula thoughts wander again.

_ Will Ty Lee still like me? _ It’s been so long, and as much as Azula would like to deny it, she knows she’s changed from the eleven-year-old Ty Lee knew and loved. Banishment has made its mark ( _ Uncle has made his mark, _ her traitorous brain supplies, and she silences it viciously) and Azula knows exactly what to do about it.

She counteracts it.

Azula recalls some of her eleven-year-old self, the princess, the favorite, the prodigy, and lets it fall over her like a costume, the same way the word “monster” did yesterday. Her back straightens as she walks, her eyes narrow in distaste, and her chin lifts high. She does not speak, but the voice in her head thinks with a more regal, sharper tone. Its age does not change. 

It feels wrong. Azula attributes it to the fact that she has not been this intentional, has not recalled her  _ lessons _ so properly, in years. She’ll get used to it as she returns to her old self. Her non-banished self. The self that Father likes.

_ Hmm. Perhaps this is how I have to be to get him to summon me home. It’s not that hard. _

The buildings to her left clear away, leaving only docks and clear sky and sea to look at. Azula can’t stop herself from looking, just for an instant.  ~~ Her ~~ The tiny, garbage ship is no longer there.

Azula feels nothing as she turns right and heads toward the fields where she hopes the tents still remain.

\-------

Princess Azula strides on to the grounds and is greeted with the sight of circus staff taking down the tents, wrangling some of the animals, and chatting with one another.

She easily spots Ty Lee, who seems to be coiling wire and wooden supports together, her back to Azula.

Azula’s throat goes dry. What is she supposed to say to one of her  ~~ only ~~ best friends who she hasn’t seen in years?

Wordlessly, she approaches her and taps her once, on the shoulder.

Ty Lee whirls around to face her, a smile on her face that quickly turns to confusion. She looks Azula slowly up and down, searching for something. Her hand comes to rest on Azula’s forearm, as if she isn’t sure she’s real.

Azula doesn’t pull away.

“Azula?” Ty Lee whispers.

Her throat is still dry and she can’t trust her voice, so Azula nods twice.

Ty Lee’s face breaks into the biggest smile Azula has ever seen on her. “Azzie!” she shrieks excitedly as she hugs her tightly.

It’s jarring at first, and Azula nearly pulls away, except for two things:

  1. Habit keeps her still.
  2. It’s Ty Lee. Ty Lee is safe.



Slowly, she reciprocates the hug, admittedly more loosely than the life-squeezing hold Ty Lee has on her. After a small eternity, Ty Lee pulls away and grips Azula lightly by her shoulders, scanning her up and down.

“How- why- Azzie I can’t believe-” Ty Lee trips over her words in her excitement, never fully asking a question.

Azula laughs lightly. “Surprise,” she says.

Ty Lee is still stammering. “Tea,” is the first thing she says clearly. “Tea first. Talk. Catch up.”

“Tea sounds nice,” Azula agrees, following Ty Lee over to a table. She very pointedly ignores all her memories of Uncle and jasmine and chamomile and meditation and-

Ignores them. That’s the point.

\-------

“So how did you get here?” Azula asks over her teacup. It’s a green tea, mixed with something else, and she can’t help but think that  Uncle made she’s had better.

“It’s a long story.” Ty Lee blows a stray hair out of her face before continuing. “Are you sure you want to hear it all?”

“Would I have asked if I didn’t?” Azula replies, arching an eyebrow. That’s the first thing that she would have done, if not banished, and it’s the first correction that feels right.

Ty Lee nods. “Alright. So, the day after the Agni Kai, I went to the palace to see you, and see how you were. I get there, the servants just let me go to your room like they usually did, and you’re not there. I figured you must have been somewhere else, so I check. I checked everywhere, Azzie, even all the passages, but I couldn’t find you.”

Her voice breaks a little at this. Azula keeps her face neutral. The makeup helps.

“Finally, I get to the kitchen, and I’m crying by this point. The head chef, her name was Danuja, do you remember her? We stole fruit tarts from her because Mai wanted them.”

“Yes, I remember that,” Azula says. She doesn’t mention that she never knew Danuja’s name before this.

“Oh, sorry, I’m getting off track. Anyway, she saw me, I was a complete mess, and she sat me down, gave me a fruit tart, and asked what’s wrong. I told her that I couldn’t find you, and her aura went all blue. I knew it was bad news, but I waited for her to tell me anyway. Danuja said that while she couldn’t officially tell me anything, the word around the palace was that you got sent away too, with Zuko.”

“It wasn’t public,” Azula whispers, pushing the mental image of her last conversation with Father out of her mind. “Do you think everyone knows, like they do with Zuko?” 

Ty Lee’s face softens. “You know how gossip travels. If I had to guess, the capital does. I don’t know about everywhere else. It gets distorted the farther out you go, you know? So they might not have the right story.”

Azula nods, prompting her to continue.

“When I heard that, I knew there wasn’t a reason for me to stay anymore. So I packed up my bags in the middle of the night and ran to the circus outside city limits. Luckily, they were about to leave. They gave me the fastest audition I’ve ever had in my life, and I traveled with them for a while.”

“What do you mean you didn’t have a reason to stay? Mai was still there,” Azula says, confused.

Ty Lee looks at her like she’s stupid, and it’s infuriating. “Azzie, you can’t tell me you didn’t notice.”

“Notice what?”

“Mai’s parents didn’t like me much.” Ty Lee speaks slower here, as if it’s harder to talk about. “We always went to your place to spend time together. Mai’s parents didn’t want me there and they never would have let Mai over to my house. They thought I was too ‘low ranking’ to spend time with their daughter.”

Azula didn’t notice this, but now that Ty Lee says this, it all comes back. How could she not have picked up on something so simple, and so clearly obvious?

“Spirits, Mai’s parents were getting worse with her by the day, keeping her on a short leash and not letting her do much. I couldn’t stay in Caldera with my family and know she was there without seeing her. It would have been too much.”

“I understand that,” Azula says automatically, still reeling from all this information. Ty Lee picked up on Mai better than she did. How was that possible? They were her friends. She should have known what was going on with them, as she was no doubt smart enough to deduce it. So why didn’t she?

Azula focuses back on the conversation. “So you’ve just been traveling with that circus this whole time?”

Ty Lee chuckles, but there’s no light in her voice as she continues. “No, I could never be that lucky. That circus only toured the Fire Nation. After about a year, we ended up coming back to Caldera. As luck would have it, one of my sisters was in the crowd. I knew she recognized me.”

Her tone becomes somber again. “I couldn’t go back, Azzie. I couldn’t be invisible again.”

Azula has never had that problem, but she nods sympathetically since that is probably the normal thing to do.

“I ran again, but I didn’t have to go too far. I stowed away on a boat that brought me to a colony, and from there I joined the nearest circus. This one. They at least gave me a real audition,” she laughs.

“But you’re touring the Earth Kingdom?”

“It’s an Earth Kingdom based circus, and I’m pretty ambiguous looking. I fit in here just fine,” she looks Azula up and down. “You might have a few issues, though.”

Azula stares at her. “How do you know I’m looking to stay?”

“You have a large piece of luggage with you, and you’re unaccompanied, silly. Your uncle would never let you do that.”

As discreetly as she can manage, Azula takes the hairpiece out of her hair and shoves it back into her bag.

“So how have you been?” Ty Lee’s tone returns to its normal level of happy.

“Banishment is boring,” she drawls, eliciting a laugh from Ty Lee. “It’s been slow. Just traveling, staying out of the Fire Nation, practicing my bending more.”

“How’s your uncle?”

Involuntarily, Azula’s jaw clenches. Ty Lee’s eyes widen and she opens her mouth to change the subject, but Azula answers, despite not wanting to.

“Annoying, lazy, incessantly talking. He made my punishment last longer by keeping my letters to Father from being delivered. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I left.”

Ty Lee claps her hands over her mouth. “Azzie, I’m so sorry. That’s awful.” 

Genuine sympathy permeates her tone. Azula wants to be that good at faking it, one day.

They both sip their tea, the silence lasting a few moments.

“How’s Zuko?” Ty Lee asks timidly.

Azula chuckles, relieved at the subject change. “He’s fine. Irritating and angry and bad at everything. He’s pretty much the same as he’s always been, in all honesty.”

Ty Lee exhales a long breath. “That’s good.”

Azula hums noncommittally.

“Are you staying?”

“I’d like to.”  _ Please let me stay. That’s true, Ty Lee. I’m being honest. I don’t have another option. Please let me stay. _

Ty Lee sets her jaw, and it reminds Azula so much of the Ty Lee she left behind that it nearly takes her breath away.

She nods decisively. “I’ll talk to the ringleader, but you’re staying. And if anyone has a problem with it, I’m pretty well respected. I’ve never had to use my authority, but I will for you, Azzie.”

Azula exhales a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

\-------

Banishment was supposed to be the strangest thing to happen to Azula.

Now, she sits on an ostrich-horse, traveling with the circus, Ty Lee riding to her right and the ringleader, Heng, riding to her left.

Heng is slightly imposing when she’s not performing. Judging by her eyes and the darker shade of her skin, she is from the Earth Kingdom. She’s tall and clearly strong. Her dark hair is wound into a knot at the nape of her neck.

Azula is grateful that she has already had much practice lying because Heng drills her with questions at a pace that leaves no room for hesitation.

“Name?”

“Azula.” It’s common enough for the colonies, as many people thought it was good luck to name their child similarly to the reigning Fire Lord. After Azula was born, however, it dropped off in popularity. It is considered disrespectful to have the  _ exact _ same name as a member of the royal family.

“Age?”

“Fifteen.” Too old to be named after the princess.

“Where are you from?”

“A colony. My village was too small to ever have a name.”

Heng narrows her eyes at this. “What’s it near?”

“Cranefish Town.” When in doubt, go with that.

“You don’t look colony.”

Easy to excuse. “My great grandfather was an officer from the capital who established my village and neighboring ones. I look like him.”

“You don’t talk colony either.”

Predictable. “I worked as a governess for a noble family in Cranefish Town. I picked up how they spoke, and it stayed with me.”

“Were you let go?” That’s a new question.

Azula keeps her cool facade and mentally scrambles for an answer. “Yes, but they had a large age gap between their second youngest and youngest. It wasn’t for the quality of my work or any other reason besides necessity.”

“Why are you here?”

“After I was let go, I would have lived with my uncle. I hate him. I ran here because Ty Lee is an old childhood friend and I hoped she’d take me.”

Heng nods, seemingly satisfied. Azula refrains from exhaling a sigh of relief.

Apparently, Heng is not done with her. “Can you bend?”

“No,” Azula says automatically. Who knows how these people would take to a firebender. Besides, blue fire is too recognizable. It would make her stand out, and someone would figure out she’s the (banished) princess, and that would end with bodies on the floor and Azula running again.

Heng snorts, drawing her ostrich-horse a little closer to Azula’s. “Kid, your eyes are so gold, I could melt them down and make coins out of them. I don’t care if you’re Fire Nation. Our animal handler, Asahi, is, though he can’t bend. I’m gonna ask you again: can you bend?”

Azula pauses, both to give the impression that she is an innocent colony girl unsure of this authority, and also to evaluate her options. If she says yes, Heng will demand that she shows her. If she says no, she has no other talent that the circus can use, and they might leave her behind.

“Not well,” she settles for, and that’s the most bald-faced lie she’s told so far. “I can’t really produce a flame myself, but I can control some that are already there.”

She looks ahead of her, where Li Wei, the strongman, rides, and spots a bag full of familiar objects.

“You have fireworks?” she asks, cutting Heng off from asking her next question.

The ringleader doesn’t seem to mind. “Yeah, Li Wei bought them on sale a couple stops ago. They’re a gamble. Some don’t light, some don’t explode, and they’re useless for our show anyway. It’s not like we can show them in the tents, and doing them outside just doesn’t make sense.”

“I can fix them for you,” Azula says, seeing the opportunity to make herself useful. “And I can stop them from catching on the tents so you can make them a part of your show.”

Heng stares at her. “Alright. Next show, we’ll see what you got, kid.”

Azula is too smart to make promises she can’t keep. She’ll make it work.

\-------

Fireworks are easy to work with.

Azula takes them apart and examines how they work, and in doing so sees the flaws. Some just need a new fuse, some need more blasting jelly, and others are missing the metals that make their colors.

She buys all this out of her own pocket at the next market they come across. Heng raises her eyebrows but doesn’t ask where Azula got the money.

She replaces the parts and runs a few tests away from them while they make camp. Soon, she has all the colors memorized: magnesium for white, lithium for red, iron for yellow, and potassium for purple.

The next part is harder, but still not difficult. She’s a firebending prodigy, after all. Sparks are just tiny flames.

Ty Lee lights a few of her testers and tells her where to direct the sparks.

“Left!”

“Right!”

“Higher! Don’t light the crowd’s hair on fire!”

“Keep them closer together!”

It’s slightly difficult at first, only because there are so many moving parts. Soon, she gets it without a problem.

\-------

At the next show, Heng trusts her to do it.

“And now,” Heng, charismatic in her performance attire, announces to the crowd, “a unique spectacle that we’re showing for the first time. Indoor fireworks!”

That’s the cue for Asahi to light them. If Azula had it her way, Ty Lee would be backstage with her, but she’s out performing, at Heng’s insistence.

The fireworks whiz into the air, and as soon as they’re in her line of sight, Azula holds out her hands and keeps the first few explosions small.

The crowd “oohs” and “ahhs,” but Azula knows she can go bigger.

A few moments later, the next round launches, and Azula stops the sparks just short of the tent.

The crowd gets a little louder and more excited.

As the rest of the fireworks go up, Azula experiments. She always prevents them from catching on the tent, but she moves the sparks around in swirls and patterns.

They don’t last long enough for her to form words or shapes. She’ll have to fix that before the next show. 

For whatever it’s worth, the crowd doesn’t seem to know that it’s the work of firebending. Either that or they don’t care.

For the finale, Azula focuses on keeping the tent from burning down. Of course, she’s successful.

Heng gives her an encouraging nod before she turns back and tells the audience goodnight.

\-------

As they travel to the next stop, Azula runs formulas and trajectory equations through her head as Ty Lee talks to her about her plans for a new move on the wire.

It’s not a perfect place to be, but Azula thinks she can deal with it, at least for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr: https://alligator-writes.tumblr.com/


	3. Porcelain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is another reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm sorry for not getting this out on Sunday. I had the ACT this weekend (I think it went well!) and didn't have too much time to write.
> 
> I think that with the increased length of the chapters, I'm going to have to stray a little bit from the weekly posting schedule. I'll still get everything out within two weeks, but it's just too difficult to keep to that strict deadline. I hope you all understand.
> 
> Thanks to the usual commenters, and to my girlfriend, the best beta reader ever and my constant motivation to continue this story.
> 
> Note: all cultural symbols and practices are from my own brain. From what I know, they're ok, but if they are offensive in any way, please let me know and I'll fix them immediately.

The circus goes north. Azula makes more fireworks, ones that last longer, ones in which she can sustain the sparks to form shapes and patterns, their delayed fizzles drowned out by the audience’s raucous cheers.

She only speaks to Ty Lee. She is cordial with the others and can muster a facade of friendliness when she needs to speak to Heng or Asahi about her part of the show or when Li Wei wants to joke to her. Otherwise, she maintains a respectful distance from the others, civil but not cold, and always on the outside in order to have the clearest idea of who they are and how to play them.

This dynamic is so familiar it would ache, if she let it.

\-------

The tester for her newest batch explodes, and behind the corona of purple sparks, blue light flashes across the sky to the south. After her initial surprise, Azula looks again, but it’s only a faint vertical strip that blends in nearly seamlessly with the rest of the clear, cerulean sky over the open field where the circus has made camp for the day.

Though she knows she didn’t create it, the light is the same color as the lightning and fire she’s been forced, for her own safety, to only use when alone.

Azula blinks and the light is gone, like it was never there.

She lights another tester to check for copper contamination.

_ Copper doesn’t look like that when it explodes. _

_ I made sure the samples were pure before I bought them. I even had to threaten the merchant to make sure I was getting a fair deal. He wasn’t lying. I would have known if he was. _

The firework explodes perfectly purple, thanks to the pure potassium salts she put in it.

The southern sky remains its normal cerulean.

\-------

Ty Lee spots the carriage.

They have stopped and set up on the outskirts of an Earth Kingdom city that Azula doesn’t care enough to know the name of. Some musicians gathered near the circus and sang about it anyway. Something about a “secret tunnel.” Azula found them annoying, so she tuned them out and would have resumed her conversation with Ty Lee, but Ty Lee enjoyed the music too much to talk.

But Ty Lee spots the carriage.

“Azzie,” she nudges Azula to get her attention away from editing one of the maps she brought from the ship. “Look.”

It’s bright enough that Azula takes the risk and uses her fire to etch in another star on the map. She extinguishes the flame on her pinky and follows Ty Lee’s gaze. “What?”

“The carriage. What’s the symbol on it?”

Azula examines the carriage door closely, scanning the design on it. It’s a lotus flower, not yet blooming, sitting on the water. Two crossed swords, also etched in the wood, hang behind the flower.

She gasps, “Mai.”

Ty Lee and she look at each other and wordlessly sprint toward the carriage.

After a moment of running in the wind, Azula remembers who she is supposed to be. She slows down, straightens her posture, and continues at a more dignified pace. She is a (banished) princess. Simply traveling with a circus does not absolve her of that. It does not make her one of them. 

Ty Lee reaches the carriage before her, but Mai’s parents exit it as soon as they hear Ty Lee shout Mai’s name.

Azula reaches them a moment later, and she hears snippets of their conversation.

“Who are you again?” Mai’s mother asks. If Azula hadn’t been raised in court, she would not have picked up the barely discernible undertone of distaste in her voice.

Ty Lee isn’t phased. “I’m Ty Lee. Mai and I were best friends with Azula, before she was sent away.”

Conveniently, Mai’s father notices Azula’s presence at that exact moment. He looks pointedly at his wife before bowing. It’s not as deep as it should be.

Mai’s mother picks up on this and bows as deeply as she should before straightening out and staring at Azula, the awe completely apparent on her face.

_ And to think I almost didn’t wear my hairpiece, _ Azula thinks smugly to herself.

“Lord and Lady,” she says. “Where is Mai?”

“In here,” a bored, raspy voice drawls from the carriage.

Azula and Ty Lee’s heads snap toward the sound in comical unison.

The carriage door opens and Mai steps out, looking bored as ever. Much like Ty Lee, she hasn’t changed much. Though she’s gotten taller and her features have narrowed somewhat, her hair and voice and face are still the same. Still Mai.

Azula scans her quickly. Mai wears loose fitting clothes made of fine silk, fit for her station. Her family hasn’t fallen out of favor with Father, then. So why are they stuck in the Earth Kingdom, near a small colony?

Her scabbards aren’t there. Mai used to love her knives and always had at least two with her. Now, they are nowhere to be seen. 

She meets Mai’s gaze, and it’s so familiar. The best part of having a friend who knows the intricacies of court is that she can communicate wordlessly.

Ty Lee is fun and a lot of energy, but that doesn’t seem appropriate right now.

Mai’s eyes flick to her parents, then back to Azula.  _ Talk later. Not with them. _

Azula twirls one of her loose pieces of hair, sticking out her pinky and making a small stabbing motion with it. She raises an eyebrow.  _ Knives? _

If Azula didn’t know Mai so well, she would have missed the small breath she lets out. Mai reaches up to fix her collar, the sleeve of her shirt rolling down the slightest bit to reveal a blade that gleams in the midday sun.  _ Still here. _

Unlike the two of them, Ty Lee’s family was not high ranking enough to participate in court proceedings. She has no regard for small, meaningful gestures.

“Mai!” she shrieks and runs forward to hug. Having just stepped down from the carriage, Mai staggers back, but her face does not change.

Mai’s mother makes a strangled sort of sound, but Mai’s father holds her back from intervening with a pointed look at Azula. The noblewoman reluctantly calms down. 

“Hi, Ty Lee,” Mai says in what could  _ maybe _ be considered warm. For her.

Azula turns back to her friend’s parents, eyebrow raised again.  _ Well? Is this how you treat your princess? _

“We would love to invite you to dinner, Princess Azula,” Mai’s father says. Azula remembered him being the more intelligent of the two.

“I accept,” she says in the same way she would have when she was eleven and lived at the palace. Although, this sort of thing didn’t happen while she lived at the palace. She hosted.

She pretends she does not miss home and casts another look at Ty Lee, who seems to be excitedly rambling to Mai about something without a care about anyone else. If Azula didn’t know Mai better, she’d say she was smiling.

“Ty Lee comes too,” she adds as an afterthought.

Mai’s mother opens her mouth to protest, but her husband says, “Of course she does.”

His smile is too tight, his tone too cheerful. But to Ty Lee or someone else without a highborn education, it sounds completely genuine.

_ You’ll need to do better than that,  _ Azula’s look says as a soldier helps her up into the carriage.

(Soldier?)

\-------

Dinner is tense and quiet. The only sounds are those of chopsticks tinkling against plates and of cups being picked up and set down. All nobles, regardless of rank, are taught to chew silently as soon as they eat solid food.

“So, Princess Azula,” Mai’s father starts. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, I heard that Ty Lee was performing and I absolutely had to attend. My father allowed me to sail out and see her show here” -  _ flimsy lie,  _ she scolds herself - “I’m going back after I inspect some of the colonies for him.” That’s better.

Mai’s father nods, genuinely accepting it by the openness of his face, and the table lapses back into silence.

Ty Lee tries to fill it with circus stories. Either she does not notice or does not care that these seem to scandalize Mai’s parents more, to the point where they are making no effort to hide their very visible shock.

Mai, seated across from Azula, looks at her again and flicks her eyes to her mother.

Azula lets her eyes widen in exasperation.  _ Still? _

Mai gives her a tiny nod.  _ Always. _

With her empty hand, the one not holding the chopsticks, she draws tiny characters on the table. Azula follows her movements.

_ After. Room. _

She nods and eats another bite.

\-------

Outside Mai’s room, Azula hears a strange noise from across the hall.

“Oh, he’s crying again,” Mai remarks flatly. She crosses the hall and opens the door to a nursery.

It’s not as well furnished as a noble house’s nursery should be. It only has a crib, a rocking chair, and a few chests and drawers for clothes. A nurse, Azula guesses, holds a bundle that is currently wailing its head off.

“Here, I’ll take him,” Mai says with neither eagerness or reluctance in her voice.

The nurse looks grateful for her intervention and hands the bundle to her. Azula catches a glimpse of its face and, sure enough, it’s a belligerent baby.

Ty Lee gasps, “Oh, it’s so cute! What’s its name?” 

“My brother’s name is Tom-Tom,” Mai replies with more warmth in her voice than Azula has ever heard before. She bounces her brother on her hip a few times, and he almost instantly calms down.

Tom-Tom and Mai stare at each other for a moment with something in their eyes that Azula can’t name.

All she knows is that Zuko and her have never shared that look.

And Mai  _ cares _ for her brother. She _has_ changed a lot in the past three years.

\-------

“Azzie, you won’t believe it,” Ty Lee says as soon as the door to Mai’s room shuts. “Heng let me off of tonight's show and didn’t even give me an earful for it!”

The house they’re in is new and smaller than what it should be. Mai’s room is the same as the rest of the house. Sparsely furnished, with only a bed, a night table, a dresser, a vanity, and a wardrobe in the corner, all a deep brown wood. The sheets are somewhere between fine and utilitarian, and the walls are a blank white. This is a temporary arrangement.

Mai sits on her bed in silence. Ty Lee, perches on the dresser. Azula stands near the vanity, sneaking a glance to ensure she still looks perfect. She takes the hair piece out of her hair and sets it down.

“Really?” Azula says, prompting Ty Lee to talk more. Mai takes a while when the three of them are alone. It’s almost impossible for anyone else to see, but she drops a little bit of the mask she wears when her parents are around. The process takes some time, and Mai doesn’t want to be the center of attention while it happens.

Azula doesn’t really care, but it will get her answers. Ty Lee knows she is the distraction. She continues talking anyway.

“Yeah, before we left, I ran back to her and told her we were obviously going to miss tonight’s show. I thought she’d be mad, since I was doing that new move to get on and off the wire and you were supposed to use the new batch of fireworks, but she wasn’t mad at all.”

“Oh, that was tonight?” Azula says. “The new batch wasn’t even ready yet.” A lie, but one to make Mai feel a little better so she can be normal again faster.

Ty Lee knows she’s lying and ignores her, “She looked at me like she was telling me a secret that I knew and said ‘Ok, Ty Lee, you know I’m only doing this because Azula is with you, right?’ What is that supposed to mean? I’ve been there longer than you, no offense, but you think she’d trust me!”

“Maybe she knows that you need me around to keep you from getting lost or into trouble,” Azula snarks, and it feels like her old self.

Ty Lee pouts, but there’s nothing real behind it. She flops on to the bed near Mai, who looks at Azula.

Her face is a little less blank. She’s alright now.

“You’re still banished,” she says dryly.

Azula narrows her eyes at her. “What do you mean?”

Mai’s eyes dart to the vanity. “You took it out. I’ve never seen you without it.”

Azula remains silent because she knows that isn’t the only thing that clued Mai in.

“And you don’t have an escort. We all know you don’t need one, but if your Father insisted, you wouldn’t have said no.”

“No need to make me sound like a lapdog,” Azula shoots at her.

The corners of Mai’s mouth lift infinitesimally. “It’s nice to see you again, Azzie.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Mai,” Azula says, returning the smile.

Mai rises and hugs Azula. It’s not as tight as Ty Lee’s life-strangling hold, but it’s strong in the same way. The way that matters.

“You got my letters,” Azula starts when Mai pulls away. “You didn’t respond, but at least you got them.”

“What letters?” Mai asks, genuine confusion seeping into her voice.

It dawns on all three of them at the same time.

“Your parents.”

“Your parents.”

“My parents,” Mai says. “Of course. It would have looked so improper if I were receiving letters from you. ‘And if the Fire Lord found out…’”

It’s been so long since Azula has heard her quote her mother mockingly like that. Now though, the mocking tone has all but disappeared.

She noticed it as soon as she saw Mai. The porcelain, blank shell has only hardened. It’s more difficult to read her now, but not a struggle. Mai isn’t the same as she was.

For an instant, Azula feels blinding rage. Then, she quells it.

_ I may not be happy about it, but she’s obeying her parents. I obey Father, and she isn’t happy with it. She appeases her parents, and I’m not happy with it. _

“Azzie, I promise if I ever got them, I’d write back. In a heartbeat.” It’s not like Mai to be so unabashedly honest, but it shines through her like the sun shining through stained glass.

“I know,” Azula says, allowing her tone to sound honest when all she feels is hurt. It’s not logical, but it still stings. Circumstances and restrictive parents left her completely alone for nearly three years.

_ Not alone, _ says the voice in her head that insists upon being infuriating,  _ you had Zuko and Uncle. _

She counters,  _ So I was alone. _

“Ty Lee just rambled to you about her life story, but what about you?” Azula asks because she knows that’s what she is supposed to do.

Mai sighs. “I don’t know. I stayed in the capital and was bored there for a while. Then about a month ago my father received an order from the Fire Lord that he was supposed to be the governor of a new colony, so we traveled with the first bit of the army. That way, when we take it, he can be the governor right away and there’s no power gap.”

Well, that explains the soldiers crawling all around the place.

Azula reads between the lines. With her and Ty Lee gone, Mai had no one to endure the hardships of capital life with. All three of them were alone until now. It’s nice to be back together.

“You?” Mai returns, and Azula knows it’s because she cares and not out of obligation.

“Oh, I enjoyed a wonderful life on a terrible little ship with my least favorite relatives and no friends, while Iroh, conniving little snake that he is, cut me off from Father,” she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She knows Mai won’t ask, but she adds, “Zuko is fine, by the way.”

Strangely, Mai doesn’t blush the way Azula expected her to. For as long as she could remember, Mai inexplicably liked her brother. Now, her face betrays no emotion at Azula’s charitable update.

_ Her parents got what they wanted, _ Azula thinks bitterly to herself.

Ty Lee pipes up, “Azzie, we should be heading back. I told Heng we’d come back for the night.”

Azula looks at her. “I’m sure she won’t be too mad if we stay with Mai for the night. After all, she hasn’t seen us in three years. We can spend a few more hours with her.”

Anything to stay with people she knows. They’ll help her become her old self again, she’s sure of it. 

Ty Lee frowns. “I guess so. We can always explain to her in the morning, right?”

Azula nods and turns back to Mai. Mai rolls her eyes so quickly that the movement is nearly invisible. 

“Yeah, why not? The bed is small, but we can share like we used to.”

It’s not exactly the same, but Azula thinks it could be, with time.

\-------

The town is alive when Mai (accompanied by soldiers) walks Azula and Ty Lee back to the square. They will leave the two of them there, and in their minds, Azula will make her own way back to her ship in the harbor. 

Townspeople swarm the square, vendors abandoning their stalls to gossip with passersby. The circus staff are intermingled in the chaos, Li Wei’s excited voice booming over the white noise of the rest of the crowd.

After some time, they fight their way through the mass of people and to Li Wei, who is luckily near Heng.

“What’s happening?” Ty Lee asks him.

A merchant interjects instead, “You mean you haven’t heard? The Avatar is back! He’s been found!”

“The  _ what? _ ” Azula says incredulously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my tumblr, https://alligator-writes.tumblr.com/ , if you want


	4. Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee begin their quest for the Avatar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I’ve noticed the trend has been my posting on Tuesdays. I don’t know how long that’s going to last, but I thought it was funny.
> 
> Sorry if the beginning of this one is a bit clunky. I like the rest of it though, and I hope you do too!
> 
> TW: mentions of shitty households, Air Nomad genocide

The merchant exclaims, “The Avatar! Apparently, they spotted him on Kyoshi Island a few days ago! Then the Prince of the Fire Nation burned down their village.”

Azula turns to look at Mai and Ty Lee. The soldiers on duty still stand there on either side of Mai.

“Leave,” Azula demands. “Now.”

For a moment, they look confused, torn between their duty to Mai and their respect for their princess. Azula narrows her eyes more, and they move to the other side of the square.

Azula grabs Mai and Ty Lee and yanks them through the crowd into the closest alley.

“We have to go after him,” Azula says, and she hates the desperation in her voice. “The Avatar is my  _ only _ chance to go home, do you understand me?”

_ How is he still alive? Why wasn’t he around earlier? What does he look like? What is he capable of? _

_ How did Zuko know of him before I did? What does Zuko know? Did he find him at the South Pole? _

_ The letter in Uncle’s office. He kept us from finding the Avatar. He kept us from going home.  _

_ Stupid. You should have known this would happen. You should have been prepared, but you weren’t. Now you’re behind because Zuko is ahead, and that means you’re a failure. Failure failure failure- _

“Azzie, I can’t just drop everything and go,” Ty Lee says tentatively. “I have a responsibility to the circus.”

“Think of what I can get for you when we get the Avatar,” Azula says. “You can go back to Caldera and be free of your family. You can still be a star, but you can be home, too. You can visit me in the palace again, and mingle amongst high society, and live in a house with a warm bed and be loved as a performer. Don’t you want that?”

Ty Lee frowns slightly.

_ Damn it,  _ Azula thinks, and she changes her approach.

“I need you for this, Ty Lee. I can’t do it alone.” The words are true, even if she doesn’t want them to be.

Azula knows what she’s offering: the best of both worlds. If she goes without Ty Lee, not only does she lose a valuable ally, but Ty Lee loses the opportunity to see Azula and Mai in the near future. Possibly ever again. None of them forgot Ty Lee’s elation at seeing her friends again. She might only want to focus on the positives of running away, but they all know Ty Lee would do anything to stay near her friends.

“Ok,” Ty Lee says after a moment of consideration. “I’ll help you.”

Azula nods.  _ Thank Agni she agreed. _

“Let me talk to Heng. I’ll tell her it’s a family emergency or something.” Ty Lee runs back through the crowd.

Azula turns to Mai. “Will you come, too? I need you.”

“My brother needs me too.”

_ Who cares about the little blob?  _ Azula thinks to herself. 

Instead, she says, “I can get you back to Caldera, too. I’ll give you another place to live so you don’t have to stay with your parents.”

“What about my brother?” Mai insists.

Azula hesitates before saying, “Can’t he stay with your parents?”

Mai gives her a look, and Azula regrets the words immediately. Mai’s parents molded her into something different, something quiet to make room for their own ambitions. Her brother will likely have the same fate, but with Mai there, his burden will be lessened. He may not be so completely transformed, and Azula knows that this fact alone is reason enough for Mai to stay and bear the consequences.

_ Can’t he stay with your parents _ was the wrong question to ask, indeed.

Azula scrambles for something better to say. “When I go home, I’ll arrange for you and Tom-Tom to live away from your parents.” Risky and scandalous, but enticing. “You’ll have help, all the staff you need. But he can live in a place where he is allowed to  _ be. _ ”

The expression on Mai’s face tells Azula that she’s seriously considering it, so she pushes harder. “I can only give you this if you help me, Mai.”

Mai stares at the wall, weighing her options. If she says no, she stays with her parents until they marry her off, which is in a few years. Then her brother is on his own. If she leaves now, she leaves Tom-Tom for what Azula figures is considerably less time. Then the rest of Tom-Tom’s childhood is exactly that. A childhood.

Azula isn’t surprised when Mai says, “Ok, I’ll come.”

Ty Lee returns to the alley. “Heng isn’t happy, but she’ll let me go. What’s the plan?”

It’s so wonderful that she asked because Azula has been running it in her head this whole time. “We’re going to need money. Mai, your family thinks my banishment ended. If I asked for it, they’d give us supplies, money, and a way to travel. We go to Kyoshi Island, get any information we can about where he is going, and then we find him.”

_ Then I go home. _

\--------

As expected, Mai’s parents furnish them with ostrich-horses and give them supplies and money. All because Azula asked them to. Despite Azula’s disdain for them as people, she commends them for their loyalty to the Fire Nation, and by extension, her.

Before they leave, Mai hugs her parents goodbye and then goes to the nurse carrying her brother. She takes him out of her arms and holds him. Tom-Tom makes an awful squealing noise and his arms shoot straight up.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Mai tells him flatly, looking into his eyes as if he’s capable of understanding her. She nods solemnly at him, and the baby mimics the motion in his uncontrolled baby way.

Ty Lee and Azula share a glance.

(Translation:  _ If we had the opportunity to say goodbye to our siblings, it would not have gone like this. _

_ Where did it all go wrong? _ )

\--------

After they leave Mai’s parents, they go to where the circus is packing up so Ty Lee can say goodbye to Heng and the others. They arrive at the grounds, and Ty Lee launches herself off her mount and at her fellow performers, hugging each of them tightly. She tells each of them just how much she’ll miss them.

Azula stays on her ostrich-horse. Heng looks at her, but it doesn’t have any of the hatred Azula expected to come from a ringleader losing not one, but two valued employees. Heng’s eyes are shiny, and she offers Azula a small smile. Asahi, Li Wei, and the others gather around her, similar smiles on their faces as they wave goodbye to Azula.

She offers them a smile in return, making eye contact with each one of them. Her gaze meets Heng’s again.

“We’ll miss you, Princess,” she mouths. 

Azula’s eyes widen, but she is slightly reassured by the finger Heng puts over her own lips. Her secret seems to be safe, though she cannot reasonably be certain.

Azula checks her pocket for her crown. It’s still there.

When Ty Lee re-mounts her ostrich-horse, the three of them ride away.

On instinct, Azula looks for the ship in the harbor, even though she knows there is none to be found. 

\--------

Traveling down the coast takes a much longer time on land than it does via the water. For a moment, Azula misses traveling on the (her) ship before she pushes the feeling down. 

On the first day, they make it a decent amount of miles down the coast. If they continue at their current pace, they should be at the closest peninsula by tomorrow, and they’ll charter a boat the next day.

When the sun begins to set, Azula checks her maps again, just to be sure. Yes, she is correct about that. 

Mai sneaks glances over at her every so often. Eventually, it becomes intrusive and annoying.

“What?” Azula snaps.

Mai is unaffected by her tone. “How are you reading those? They’re like nothing we’re taught.”

“I made them, obviously.”

“On the ship?”

Azula rolls her eyes, though she still keeps her head tilted toward the map. “Where else?”

Ty Lee interrupts them, “Here’s a good spot to make camp.”

Azula is inclined to agree. They dismount in a nice small clearing, well hidden by the surrounding trees. While it’s mostly flat, a few decently large rocks litter the clearing, creating some semblance of shelter. In the event of an attack, it’s easily defensible.

“I’ll make a fire. Mai, set up the tent. Ty Lee, you’re taking the first watch.”

As Azula gathers twigs and sticks to make a small fire, she hears Ty Lee say, “I’ll help you set up the tent.”

She arranges the sticks and twigs into a self-supporting pile, just as she’d done for her earliest firebending lessons, when all she had needed to do was create and sustain a flame. She points her fingers at the pile and shoots a small burst of flame at it.

“Uh, what?”

She turns to see Ty Lee and Mai, wearing matching expressions of surprise, standing next to an adequately set up tent. It’s unusual to see Mai’s face full of such emotion, and Ty Lee’s jaw is all but on the grass. 

“What do you mean?”

Ty Lee recovers first. “Blue,” she says in complete and utter awe.

Azula looks back at her fire, then at her friends, then at her fire again.

“Oh, yeah. That happened around two years ago. It’s the mark of an incredibly powerful firebender,” Azula says breezily.  _ I have no idea how it happened or why I can’t change it back. _

Mai nods, satisfied.

“If anyone would have blue fire, it’d be you, Azzie,” Ty Lee says seriously.

Azula smirks in response, and the doubt in her head quiets.

\--------

They make it down the coast in another day, as planned, without a hitch. They camp in the woods again instead of staying in an inn, in order to save money. Coin is spent only on necessary supplies: food, water, transportation, clothes when needed.

First thing in the morning, they go into the little town on the tip of the peninsula and head straight for the docks. One of Mai’s family messengers has paid an oarsman in advance for their journey. His booth is the last one on the left of the busy pier, according to the instructions Azula was given before they departed.

Before they leave their camp, Azula takes her hair down from its characteristic topknot and fashions it into a low bun at the nape of her neck. When she finishes, Mai and Ty Lee are staring at her again.

“We can’t look Fire Nation,” she says defensively. “Zuzu already went in and mucked that up for us. If anyone asks, you two are sisters and I’m Ty Lee’s friend. We’re poor peasant girls from some village on the peninsula who wanted to see the Avatar.”

The two of them nod, and Ty Lee says to Mai, “I’ll help you with your hair.”

Azula digs around in their packs until she finds three drab brown traveling cloaks. She keeps one for herself before tossing one each to Mai and Ty Lee, both of whom now wear their hair in the low styles of the Earth Kingdom. Each of them don the cloaks, effectively covering the fine clothes that would have blown their cover. They mount their steeds and ride into town

At the stable in town, Azula pays for three stalls so their ostrich-horses and luggage have a place to be while the girls are at the island. Then, they make their way to the docks.

The pier is packed with merchants and their customers out and about, no doubt wanting to take advantage of the agreeable weather. Fishermen hawk the prices of their morning catches, sailors loiter around, waiting for a boat to come employ them, and musicians play between the booths wherever there’s room. All in all, it’s a lively cacophony of ordinary sounds. It grates on Azula as she leads the way to the little rowboat she sees just off the end of the dock.

“Are you Ukano’s daughter?” the oarsman asks, looking directly at Ty Lee as soon as they arrive at his stall.

“No, I am,” Mai says before Ty Lee opens her mouth. Ty Lee is too nice and probably wouldn’t have corrected him.

“Oh, my apologies, milady,” the oarsman says frantically.

Mai waves him off, but Azula gives him a once over for no other reason than to watch him squirm. “Watch it,” she sneers.

The oarsman gulps comically.

\--------

Despite his initial stupidity, the oarsman manages to get them to the island without killing them or capsizing the boat.

“I have to get back to ferry more customers,” he says apologetically.

Azula gives him a bronze coin. “You’ll wait for us.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

The three girls make their way to the village. Or, rather, what used to be the village. Instead of houses, white piles of ash in shapes loosely reminiscent of rectangles dot the blackened grass and cracked soil of the island. The landscape is almost cruel in contrast to the warm, sunny weather and the gentle breeze that would have made the grass sigh. If there was any grass left.    


However, this island is not a lifeless place. All around them, people bustle about, carrying wood and straw and rope and buckets of plaster. They rebuild quite fast here, it seems.

The strangest thing is that a group of uniformed girls who seem to be about Azula’s age are the ones guiding the reconstruction. Why aren’t adults handling this kind of work?

“I thought I told your brother to sweep away some of the ash!” one of them says, clearly exasperated.

“His lazy ass isn’t up yet! Ju, go get him for me, will you? He’s gonna be nicer to you than he is to me.”

A third girl says to someone else, “No, we’re not rebuilding the infirmary there. We had plans to build a new one closer to the training center so we didn’t have to walk as far. The one thing that hotheaded asshole was good for was speeding up our construction plans.”

_ “Hotheaded asshole” is a very appropriate name for Zuzu, _ Azula thinks to herself.  _ I’ll save that one for if I see him again. _

Azula beckons Ty Lee and Mai to follow her as she approaches the first girl, the one who appears to be the leader. She is about Mai’s height, dressed in the strange dress-armor as the rest of them. Her makeup is uniform, too: white base paint, red lips and detailing around the eyes, all outlined in striking black. Her brown hair is cut short, above her shoulders, and only half of it is pulled back. She’s quite pretty.

“Excuse me,” Azula says, using her “poor, naive, peasant” voice. It’s one she had less practice with on the ship, preferring to fall back on stories that incorporated the presence of the soldiers Iroh made her bring with her. “My friends and I heard the Avatar was here.”

“He’s gone now, sorry,” she says before barking over her shoulder, “Hey, Tai-hua, nice to see that you’re up! Shovel ashes or shovel shit, your choice.”

“Spirits, Suki, I just woke up,” he complains.

“Just for that excuse, you’re shoveling shit.”

“Do you know where he’s going?” Ty Lee interrupts the conversation. “The Avatar, I mean.”

Suki turns back to them, looking surprised that they’re still there. It’s incredibly infuriating. “The kid mentioned the North Pole. I’m guessing that’s his next spot.”

“Kid?” Azula blurts, before she can stop herself.

Suki cocks her head to the side, examining her. “Yeah, the Avatar is a kid. Small little airbender. I think he’s around twelve, but he still has the tattoos. He’s a lot of fun, and super sweet. Like a polar bear puppy.”

_ A kid? How is the Avatar a child? He’s supposed to be an old man. And how is there an airbending child? _

“Was he traveling with anyone? I mean, a kid like that needs supervision, doesn’t he?” Ty Lee says it innocently enough, but she is too eager, too bright.

Azula does not let the worry show on her perfectly made up face. Instead, she sneaks a glance at Mai, who, judging by the set of her mouth, picked up on it too. 

Suki notices it as well. “No, he was alone. I thought it was weird too, but I guess the Avatar can look after himself no matter his age.”

She looks right at Azula and smiles sweetly. “I hate to be rude, but I have to rebuild my village after a lightning fire. I hope you understand.”

Azula knows she’s lying. It’s obvious by the way Suki picked at her armor when she made those statements and the fact that she knows Zuko burned this village. But she can’t say anything, because as a “poor naive peasant girl”, she is supposed to take whatever answer she receives at face value.

Mai steps in for the first time. “Thank you for all the help,” she says. It’s flat, like normal, but it is also coolly polite in a way that Azula hasn’t heard her speak in years. “We really appreciate it.”

Suki nods once at them before returning to barking orders at the other girls.

“Come on,” Azula says. “Maybe he’ll pass by town on the way to the pole.”

They return to the boat and pay the oarsman an additional bronze piece for his trouble.

\--------

In town, they stay in the inn above the stable. Their room has four beds, and luckily the inn was not so packed as to put a single person with the three of them. Mai and Ty Lee sleep quickly, but Azula stays awake, having lit the lantern by her bed with a match to produce a normal colored flame. 

_ An airbending child? _ It’s a ridiculous thought. The airbenders are gone, destroyed, wiped out by the genocide the Fire Nation committed. How is there a new airbending Avatar?

Without meaning to, Azula looks over at Ty Lee, at her round face, her now-closed grey eyes, her clothes that have always seemed a little different from typical Fire Nation styles. She remembers the stories that spread from one noble to the next about Ty Lee’s great-grandmother who married a refugee, a man with a past that no one knew and no one talked about. He always wore long sleeves and gloves, even in the summer, and his head was always covered.

_ To cover tattoos, _ she realizes.  _ Some survived. Some airbenders survived, and the Avatar is one of their descendants. _

Azula remembers her visits to the Air Temples, how they were either empty or taken over by another people.  _ Survivors _ seems to be an appropriate word for people like the Avatar, but it feels hollow.  _ Survivors _ implies that they have somewhere to go back to. A home.

She shakes off the thought and remembers a lesson she taught herself:  _ Don’t waste time on things you can’t control. _

Tomorrow, they venture north, back toward where the circus was. If only they knew to get ahead and intercept him. Now, they are days behind her idiot brother and a  _ twelve year old child. _

Nothing in Azula’s fourteen years of life has ever been more frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr: https://alligator-writes.tumblr.com/


	5. Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Azula schemes and runs into obstacles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I’m alive! I just started going into school full time again, and this chapter was very difficult for me to write (for whatever reason). It’s a bit shorter than usual, but I like it!
> 
> Thank you for your patience!

_Iroh:_

_Since I am sure that you are intercepting Zuzu’s mail like you did mine, I thought it more efficient to write directly to you. This is not forgiveness, or a truce, or whatever else your silly little proverbs might call it. I did not want to write to you. I wanted to write to Zuko. I hope you actually pass along this information, otherwise my time spent on this is for nothing._

_I am not sure what you know, but here is what I know: The Avatar is going to the North Pole. I will not tell you how to go after him. That would be cheating. But Zuzu and I were always given the same opportunities when we were at home. It seems only fair that we get the same opportunities now. If he fails, it is his fault alone, and not anything else._

_I do not know if you will pass this information along. I will not stay in town long enough for you to write back. I hope Zuko is still himself._

Azula  
  


—————

Azula misses traveling on a ship.

Not because of the comforting rocking of the waves, or the intense smell of salt and smoke, and especially not because of the easy, constant presence of the sailors.

Sailing is just so much _faster_ than traveling over land. Going over land means stopping every night to camp, or running into people if they go into town, and they have to follow the actual existing roads with all their hills and turns and obstacles.

Sailing is a straight shot, other than stopping to buy food and water. She knows that most of the time, people can make do without the other items. Repairs, while sometimes more complicated, usually take much less time than stopping into towns and haggling.

She says all of this to Mai and Ty Lee as she sits in front of the fire, watching the fish they bought at the market slowly roast. The tent stands, a silent shadow behind Ty Lee, who, having finished her vegetables, sets down her bowl.

Mai levels a look at Azula. "My parents thought you weren't banished anymore. Can't you find a ship and convince its captain of the same thing? Then you can commandeer it to the North Pole."

Now why hadn't she thought of that?

 _A good idea, but incomplete._ "We'd need to stay in the Northern Water Tribe for a while, depending on how much earlier we arrive before the Avatar."

"They have the advantage too," Ty Lee says. It's obvious, but Azula isn't mad at her for saying it. "We're three girls against an entire army of waterbenders, in a place surrounded by water. I don’t know about you two, but I’ve never fought a waterbender before. That’s not how I’d like to do it."

"Exactly." Azula thinks she deserves more credit than being just a girl, but the point still stands. She’s a firebending prodigy: the best of her generation, probably ever. But she’s never fought a waterbender before, either. The soldiers back at the palace used to boast about how easy they were to subdue. But they weren’t very good at concealing their scarred or frostbitten skin. 

Better to know what she’ll get herself into before invading the pole.

They chew on second servings of vegetables as the sizzling fish finishes cooking. 

"What if we don't stop at the North Pole?" the three of them say in unison.

Azula goes to speak, but Mai is already talking. "We can stay on the ship, keep it running safely out of Northern Water Tribe waters."

"That wastes good fuel for pretty much nothing," Azula counters. “How about we-“

Ty Lee cuts her off this time. "We can dock and stay at one of the most northern spots in the Earth Kingdom. We didn't go there too much at the circus, but I know enough of my way around there."

Mai says, “I’m not very confident with ‘know enough of my way.’”

"How about," Azula pauses for dramatic effect, "we go to the Northern Air Temple?"

After a beat, Mai asks, "Isn't that abandoned? And desolate? We won’t even be able to find firewood."

"No, there are people there. They're weak and easily intimidated and shouldn't be much of a problem for the three of us. They have supplies, too.” 

The images of gliders and heating systems and all those other half-completed contraptions pop into Azula’s mind. She refocuses.

“The temple is close enough to the pole to get there if the Avatar shows up, and we can survey the pole from there too. It's the best possible location."

She stares at Ty Lee and Mai, the expression on her face daring them to challenge her.

"It's risky," Ty Lee begins uncertainly. Azula readies her counterarguments, but does not need them.

"I trust you, Azzie. If you say this is the best option, I'm willing to try it."

Azula nods at her before turning to Mai. "Well?"

"You make it sound like I'm so difficult to convince," she drawls, the corners of her mouth lifting minutely. "It makes sense. Now we just need a ship to get us there. I’m with you on wanting faster travel. Riding every day is starting to bore me."

Azula chuckles and begins creating a plan for tomorrow.

—————

The spirits (if they exist) keep granting Azula the same luck she has enjoyed all her life. There is a Fire Nation ship docked at the next town they stop in.

“That shouldn’t be here,” Mai stares at the ship as she dismounts. “There aren’t any plans to take this town, and we’re not far enough north for it to use the colonies as an excuse.”

Azula dismounts as well, scanning the flags the ship flies. A typical Fire Nation flaps at the top of the stack. Below it, a silver flag to show that a commander is the highest ranking officer, a color to signify who the commander is, then white for peace. So this ship is here to resupply, not invade.

She doesn’t know what to think of that.

Instead, she runs through the list of commanders Father had her memorize when she was eleven. _Enomoto, Miyashita, Shimada, Kawakami, Otake, Yoshino, Sūn, Lín, Cáo, Dīng_. None of them correspond to the burgundy of the third flag that flaps in the wind.

A twinge of resentment runs through her. _If Zuko hadn’t gotten us banished, my information wouldn’t be so dated._

Then: _If Uncle hadn’t kept us away, I would have the correct names and colors._

This information is not nearly enough, but it is all she has.

The three of them, Ty Lee also having dismounted, make their way to the docks. Their presentation is immaculate. Each of them wears their finest clothes: Azula in a set she took with her from the palace, adjusted for size, Mai in her best clothes from the capital, and Ty Lee in a borrowed set from Mai. Anyone who looks carefully will see that the seams on Azula’s clothes are imperfect, and that Ty Lee’s clothes are too fine for someone of her lower status.

Thankfully, sailors aren’t typically noble-born. Nobles serve in the army, if they choose to at all. These soldiers probably won’t recognize these little imperfections. At least, Azula is confident they won’t.

She wears her crown, tucked into a perfect topknot, and her makeup has erased every little blemish on her face. Ty Lee and Mai are equally as stylish only because she ensured it.

As they walk, Azula holds her head high and walks like a princess. Mai and Ty Lee keep pace a few steps behind her, as is customary. The townspeople stop and whisper as they go by, but Azula does not care. She can be seen here.

The ramp is already down, with sailors bustling up and down. They shout at and loudly tease each other. It’s strangely juxtaposed by the intimidated quiet of the town.

This scene is so familiar that it hurts something deep in Azula’s chest. The intense ache spreads throughout her torso up to her throat. Azula swallows it back down and pushes on.

A big soldier blocks the top of the ramp, where it meets the ship. The three stop in front of him.

“Move,” Azula commands.

The man appears as if he will refuse them, but his eyes land on her crown and stay there for a time that is almost uncomfortable.

“Princess?” he ventures.

_Agni, are they just drafting any idiot with enough muscle mass?_

“Yes.”

He steps aside and bows at the correct depth. While they walk by, he offers acceptable bows to Mai and Ty Lee, too.

At least he knows his place.

“Take me to the commander,” Azula demands, still continuing to look ahead.

“I didn’t know boats were so wobbly,” Ty Lee whispers behind her.

A rustle of fabric. “Take my arm,” Mai says.

“You get used to it,” Azula tells them, still not looking back. Immediately, she wants to take it back.

Ty Lee hums, not believing her. As if Azula would ever lie to her. About something so insignificant.

The big sailor comes back with the commander in front of him. As they approach, Azula sees who the officer is.

“Zhao?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a lieutenant?”

Her head snaps to the big sailor, who immediately lowers his gaze to his shoes. “I told you to get me the commander.”

Zhao has the nerve to look smug. “I am the commander.”

_Never in a million years did I think this goblin would become a commander._

“And which murder did you witness to get that promotion?”

He chuckles, but there is truth in her question. Zhao is a terrible firebender, at least in terms of technique. That alone is excusable if he has other talents, but he does not. He can’t fight any other way, and he’s a barely competent strategist. Every time he’s risen in the ranks has coincided with a death or retirement, but another excuse is always given.

Azula itches to know what he knows. That kind of leverage on some of the highest ranking nobles will be incredibly valuable when she is Fire Lord.

“I thought the Fire Lord would have told you about my recent promotion,” Zhao says. “It was a truly glorious victory. The Earth Kingdom soldiers are hardy, let me tell you, but we managed to crush them.”

“I thought my father would have told you that my banishment ended,” she returns, sidestepping the question underlying his otherwise irritating bragging. “Perhaps you weren’t high ranking enough to be informed of it when it happened.”

Zhao visibly bristles. Azula wishes she didn’t have to fight the smile that threatens to creep on her face.

“Anyway, Zhao, I need your ship,” she continues.

“For what, Princess?” It’s the first time he has addressed her properly, and it has not gone unnoticed.

She pauses, weighing her options:

  1. She could tell him why, and keep him on, but she trusts Zhao as far as she can throw him. That’s not an option.
  2. She could give him a lie, and keep him on. But Zhao isn’t as stupid as she’d like him to be. He’d figure it out and be a massive inconvenience. If he gets the crew on his side, he’s a threat. Azula knows they’re loyal to him, if out of obligation instead of anything else. It took her months to get her own crew to talk to her. She regrettably can’t pit this crew against him in a timely enough manner.
  3. She could lie and kick him off. He won’t go down without a fight. When she kills him, the crew will still be disloyal. While they might not mount an official mutiny, they will sabotage her in little ways. Mai and Ty Lee don’t sail, so they’re of no help if she needs to replace the crew.



None of these options are any good. Azula creates a fourth option.

“Need to know basis,” she says simply.

Zhao stares right into her eyes, and if she were weak like Uncle like Zuko like Mother she would have flinched. His eyes are both empty and full at the same time. It’s as if he has no substance himself, so he searches for everything another person has.

Azula won’t let him take it. She holds his gaze with equal intensity.

After a long moment, he says, “No.”

Ty Lee gasps behind her.

“What did he just say?” Mai murmurs, a hint of surprise in her voice.

Azula refuses to be caught off guard. “What did you just say to me? How dare you refuse your princess!”

“You’re not a princess,” Zhao says, a devious smirk creeping on his face. “I already ran into your miserable brother. Challenged him to an Agni Kai, actually, and would have won if your uncle hadn’t stopped me. The ex-prince let it slip that you left.”

_Of course Uncle would keep Zuzu from learning in the only way he knows how. The hard way._

Azula has never been played for a fool before. She hates it. Scrambling for something to use, she asks, “Then what are you here for? Your ships shouldn’t be this far away from a colony.”

“Need to know basis,” Zhao smiles. It’s a sick and empty expression on his face. 

She knows he knows she can’t do anything to him. He turns away from them. Apparently, they are done without another word.

The dismissal feels so much like the only other one Azula has ever experienced. She hates this too.

But from Zhao’s smile and the tone of his voice, she knows what he’s after: The Avatar.

 _The more, the merrier,_ she thinks bitterly.

—————

_Iroh:_

_Zhao is after the Avatar. I do not think he knows he is heading north. I am not happy about this either. I know you ran into him, and that Zuzu told him I am still banished. You should have killed him when he challenged Zuko to that Agni Kai. Then neither of us would have to deal with his slimy, wormy self. It is a shame you are so weak._

_Azula_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr, if you want: https://alligator-writes.tumblr.com/


	6. Throw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Azula and Ty Lee learn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Thank you all for your patience! These past two weeks were extremely busy for me (sports, in person school, tests, probably more that I'm forgetting), and I'm sorry this took so long. This chapter is more character focused (and can definitely be called filler) but next week's will be more plot focused. That one is more outlined than this one, so I hope I can get it out sooner rather than later.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

At first, Azula thought it was luck when they found a cave to stay in. Contrary to what she had thought, the cave was actually warm and drier than some of the clearings they had slept in. With their padded bedrolls, it was almost comfortable.

This morning, it rains. Not an annoying sprinkling that would allow travel, but a torrential downpour. The rain roars as it pelts the earth below, leaves of the trees shaking without a break. Already, they have twice heard the  _ creak creak SNAP _ sound of large branches breaking, and it has only been an hour. It's eerily similar to the wet season back home, save for the fact that this rain is freezing in comparison. The three of them stay deep in the cave and still shiver whenever a stray breeze blows in the rain-cooled air.

She doesn't want to lose time, but there is no way they can travel in this. Based on Mai and Ty Lee’s faces, they don’t want to leave the cave either. Their only way of travel is on foot. If people actually passed by this place, they could easily steal a carriage and force the driver to take them. Stupidly, she chose an isolated place to avoid any assassins or other attackers.

_ And who would come after you? _ a voice taunts in her head.  _ Zhao? He already made it clear that he thinks you're worthless. _

_ No. I'm not Zuko, _ she counters. The phrase lacks its usual weight, so she thinks it over and over again until she drowns out the other voice. Its meaning does not return.

“Well,” Mai says after they’ve sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the rain wash any hope of gaining time away. “I’m bored.”

Azula, still staring outside, hears Ty Lee flop on her bedroll.

“Me too,” she says, her voice unusually dejected.

Silence again. Azula makes no move to talk. She knows she will just end up snapping at them, and considering these are the only people she has to work with, she cannot damage that relationship.

Instead, throwing her hand over her shoulder, she blindly ignites the small wood pile they brought in last night. The blue light of the flame doesn’t illuminate the cave much, but it’s better than nothing.

She turns to see Mai laying on her back, tossing and catching one of her shuriken over and over again. Azula wonders how she hasn’t cut her hand yet. Ty Lee watches her, seemingly mesmerized by the simple motion.

Mai’s hand moves so quickly that Azula doesn’t even see the shuriken change direction until it’s wedged in a crack of the cave wall, and Mai’s arm is fully extended.

Without being asked to, Ty Lee gets up and retrieves it for Mai.

“Can you teach me how to throw these?” she asks. Her tone holds a bit of admiration in it, as well as something Azula hasn’t heard before.

Mai blinks a few times before responding. “Yeah, sure.”

She takes the shuriken from Ty Lee and stands up.

Azula takes out her maps and begins etching the new route to the Northern Air Temple. Given the rain, they’ll have to stop into the next town they come across in order to get some sort of transportation. She doesn’t know how the Avatar is travelling, but she’s willing to bet that he has a lot more help than she does. Father spent the first year of his reign stamping out underground resistance groups that sought to challenge his reign. Most of them were fanatics who believed the Avatar would return, end the war, and depose him. Although she witnessed more executions than she could count, they probably were not stopped for good.

She recalls her lessons from the palace. The Earth King in Ba Sing Se is a mysterious figure, as no one from the Fire Nation has been able to enter the capital in a century. However, the coastal regions of the Earth Kingdom are said to be weak and easily overtaken. That’s verified by her own experience. The Earth King, then, isn’t as strong of a ruler as Father is. Those Avatar supporters probably have free reign over his land. Spirits know they’d need to rely on him in order to win the war.

While she keeps her focus on the map, Azula hears Mai teach Ty Lee how to throw the weapon.

“Fully extend your arm.”

“Continue your momentum. You want to feel as if you can walk through it.”

“It’s not going to stick in the wall, but if you throw it right and with enough force, it should make a spark.”

“Don’t stare at your hand. Your weapon follows where your eyes go. Keep your eyes on the target.”

Mai’s dull tone is oddly reminiscent of Azula’s last firebending teacher. He realized within the first week that he had nothing to teach her, so he just repeated simple advice in that dull voice of his while Azula ran her forms. She was going to ask Father to replace him, but then Zuko opened his stupid mouth and derailed her plans.

The shuriken  _ pings _ off the wall over and over again.  _ Ping, clatter. Ping, clatter. Ping, clatter. _

Azula hates the sound of it. She’s about to look up and tell Ty Lee to knock it the hell off when she sees a yellow spark fly off the wall and land at her feet. On instinct, she stamps it out. Then, she looks up.

“Nice job,” Mai says. It’s the first compliment Azula has heard from her this whole time. She stands behind Ty Lee, arms crossed over her chest, studiously examining her stance.

Ty Lee puts her arm down and stands naturally. “So how was my form?” she asks excitedly.

“Narrower than it should be, but you threw it well enough. As long as you don’t have another enemy swooping in at close range, you’ll be fine.”

Ty Lee nods. “Ok, so not bad for just learning?”

The corners of Mai’s mouth lift a little bit. “Not bad at all.”

Ty Lee looks to Azula. “Azzie, you should try.”

“Why?” 

Father’s voice sounds in her head.  _ Azula, you are a bender. You need no weapon. Your brother’s swords are a crutch because he is too weak to rely on his pathetic bending. _

“For fun.” Mai says this so drily that Azula can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or not.

“Yeah! It’s a lot of fun, even if you’re not very good at it, like I am!”

“I just said you weren’t bad.”

“That’s not the same as good.”

“I am just fine with my bending,” Azula says. She turns her head back to the map and waits for them to drop the subject. Before, the two of them would have stopped talking about it instantly and moved on to something that would recapture Azula’s precious attention.

That does not happen now. Ty Lee moves, a blur in her peripheral, and three sharp jabs hit Azula in her neck, spine, and side.

She quiets the rage that builds in her. Answers before anger. “What did you just do to me?”

“Try bending now,” Ty Lee says. She stands with her hands on her hips, determined and defiant. This Ty Lee is so different from the one she left behind, the one who would do anything Azula asked with a cartwheel and a smile.

This Ty Lee is different. Azula doesn’t know whether she likes her or not.

That scares her

Azula levels a glare at Ty Lee. Her rage climbs up her throat, threatening to spill out of her mouth. “Don’t order me around.”

Halfheartedly, she punches straight up, expecting the fire to flow from her fist as naturally as she breathes.

Nothing.

She inhales and exhales slowly before doing the same motion. No flame.

Azula sets her rage, her constant companion, to the side like she taught herself to do years ago. She inhales and exhales, seeking out the fire that courses through her veins.

It’s gone. No. Wait. Not gone.

What used to be a sweeping, brassy symphony inside her body is now  _ quiet _ .

“What did you just do to me?” Azula murmurs, the undercurrent of rage causing her to sound as murderous as she feels.

“I’ll teach you how to do it.”

“I didn’t ask that, now did I? Tell me what you did to me, or I’ll leave you tied up in this cave.”

“You need to learn how to do it so you can learn how to avoid it. I don’t know of anyone else who can chi-block, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there were people who could.”

_ Chi-blocking? Uncle’s teachings about chi and the spirit weren't supposed to be right. _

Well, it doesn’t really matter if they’re right or not. Her fire is still quiet, though it grows a little louder with every passing second.

And if she can deprive the Avatar of his bending, that will make him even easier to fight.

“Fine.” Azula stands and stretches, seeking out her bending. It’s almost to where she can reach it. It’s like she’s trying to grasp a bowl, but her fingers keep touching the edges and then slipping. “I’ll learn.”

“You’re learning how to throw these first,” Mai says. Her typical bored tone has returned. “Hand to hand combat should be your last resort. If you’ve got a weapon, you’ve got a better shot when your bending gets taken away.”

_ If, _ Azula corrects her in her head.  _ If my bending gets taken away. Not when. _

She wordlessly holds out her hand, and Mai hands her a shuriken. In her head, she marvels at how small it is and how much damage it can cause.

Perhaps Mai likes them because she sees a bit of herself in the weapon. Quiet and unassuming, yet deadly.

Mai looks at her, a question in her eyes.

_ Don’t touch me,  _ Azula answers it.

Mai nods, and then begins talking her through it. “I don’t know how much you listened to earlier-” 

(Meaning:  _ I know you were listening, but you don’t want me to acknowledge it. I’m repeating it for this reason. _ )

“But if I had to guess, I would like to think that throwing this follows the same motion as some of your katas.”

(Meaning:  _ It’s pretty much the same. I know because you showed off to Ty Lee and I for years. But I’m not supposed to be the authoritative one. _ )

“We don’t have anything soft to throw it into, and don’t aim for the cracks just yet. If you throw it right, just the edge should hit, and it should spark off the wall. Establish a solid base, and use your whole body. Release at full extension, not earlier. I can move out of the way, but Ty Lee doesn’t need a haircut right now.”

“I kinda do,” she pipes up from where she sits on the floor, rebraiding her hair. “But I don’t want it done like that. No offense, Azzie.”

Azula doesn’t respond. So Ty Lee can be insubordinate one moment and normal the next? It makes no sense.

Instead, she throws the star at the wall, following Mai’s advice. Solid base, full body motion, release.

On the plus side, she throws it straight. But the shuriken hits the wall on its flat side and slides down to rattle on the floor.

Mai only says, “Release it level. You had it tilted toward you on release.”

She retrieves the weapon and places it back in Azula’s hand. This time, it flies out of her hand correctly, but it wobbles too much to be accurate.

“Hold it more tightly before you release it. You won’t cut yourself, trust me.”

That’s not what Azula is worried about. It’s a stupid throwing star. Anybody can pick one up and learn how it works. It’s a weapon for those who weren’t lucky enough to be able to firebend. It doesn’t take skill or mastery like bending does. Throwing it is just a matter of mindless, simple repetition.

Azula thinks this, but it’s hard to believe. Throwing this shuriken is  _ hard. _ There are many things to consider: balance, speed of release, even breathing. Mai asks her again and again to throw it again and again, each time making little corrections that Azula never notices but somehow help her little by little.

Mai is talented and deadly with her knives. Azula knows this. It’s why she made her a friend in the first place. But Mai is a specialist in nearly every small knife, projectile or not. She must consider balance, speed, and strength for each one of her blades. Add to that moving in a real fight and not just standing, throwing at the same spot of a wall over and over again, it’s a  _ lot _ to consider.

Azula knows this. But it’s not until she gets that shuriken in her hand and makes another frustratingly imperfect throw that she  _ knows _ this.

Like with her bending, Azula keeps her rage to the side. Anger will make her clumsy and worse than she already is. It is not worth feeling. And it is strange that the same principles that govern her bending apply to this.

Her next throw releases a flat, perfectly spinning shuriken, its edge making contact with the wall. A yellow spark lands on the ground, and Azula makes no move to stamp it out. It extinguishes itself on the cave floor in one blink.

“Again.” is all Mai says.

Azula is surprised to find herself listening. She throws it again and again. Sometimes it hits right, sometimes it doesn’t. It’s irritating and not at all like her bending, which is perfect every time after the first.

She stops when her fury and frustration grow too much, when they threaten to break out of the box in her head.

“Good job,” Mai says as Azula hands the weapon back to her.

Something in her eyes says:  _ That was hard for you. _

Azula looks away.

* * *

The rain finally ceases the next morning. They pack their belongings, extinguish the still-burning fire, and exit the cave when dawn breaks.

Outside, near the entrance, a stake protrudes from the wall. A ribbon, tied around a scroll, loops around it. The painted design on the ribbon is one Azula recognizes immediately, and she takes it before Mai or Ty Lee can say anything about it. She tears it open, feeling satisfied when the delicate ribbon breaks.

_ Princess Azula, _

_ I do not know where this letter will reach you. Wherever you are, I hope you are safe. If Ty Lee is there, I hope she is safe as well. _

_ Thank you for telling us about the Avatar’s plans. I told Prince Zuko, as you asked me to. He seems to think we need to intercept the Avatar at every possible sighting. He never was very good at Pai Sho like you were. _

_ I understand that you do not want to reconcile with me. I do not blame you. I do hope, however, that we will meet again. I know I cannot justify what I did, but I want to explain. Let me correct that. You are owed an explanation. You deserve that, and so much more. _

_ I will not end this letter by asking you to write back. You have always made your own decisions and answered to no one but yourself. I do not think you will break that pattern beginning with me. _

_ Uncle Iroh _

When she finishes reading it, Azula burns the letter.

She is on her ostrich-horse, and the three of them begin riding away, before the last of the ashes fall onto the rain-wet mud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want, follow my tumblr! I'm more active on there, and I occasionally give updates on chapter schedule, etc.
> 
> https://alligator-writes.tumblr.com/


End file.
